Healing
by thecinnamonroll-varian
Summary: A bunch of one shots taking place after Varian gets redeemed in season 3. Forgiving might be easy, but to learn to trust again, might be harder than it seems at first. This story does have a lot of angst, and goes a lot into Rapunzel and Varian trying to rebuild their friendship and trust.
1. Be okay

"Arghh just shut up." His voice broke through the air like a sharp knife, making everything and everyone fall silent. His whole body was tense and shaking with anger and a high pitched tone was ringing in his ears, getting louder and louder for every second that went by.

Then, as soon as the words left his mouth, and as Rapunzel flinched, taking a small step back, it all went away, just as sudden as it got there in the first place. He just stood there as the realization of what he had said hit him, as he took in Rapunzel's reaction. Then, as pieces finally fell into place, he suddenly felt the way too familiar sting behind his eyes, as his troath tensed, making it hard to breathe.

"I'm so- Rapunzel I'm- Ohmygosh I'm so- sorry... Ididntmeanto- I'm so so- I'm sorry..." He frantically rambled, checking on the words for almost every letter. "I don't know what's wrong with me... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Sorry sorry sorry-" He continued, hugging himself tight. Rudiger, noticing his human's way too fast and panicky breathing, quickly climbed the boy, clinging around his neck while trying to soothe him with his paw chittering in an attempt to calm Varian down.

It took Rapunzel a moment to get over the shock from Varian suddenly yelling at her. He'd seemed... almost insane. Reminding her way too much of that night when he'd kidnapped her mother and trapped her and her dad. It took her another moment to realise what was going on, as Varian basically broke down in front of her, crumbling in on himself as he desperately apologized.

"Varian it's-" It wasn't okay. She really wanted to just comfort him and tell him that it was okay, that everything was fine, but... her heart was still beating way too fast, every muscle in her body was tense as if she was awaiting an attack. Her brain was all blurry, making her whole body feel fuzzy in that nauseating kind of way. She wanted to tell him that it was fine, but it wasn't. It wasn't for either of them, no matter how much both of them wanted it to be fine they still had a long way to go before any of them would ever be okay.

"Varian," she reached out to give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I know you didn't mean to do that. Okay? It's okay, just... please try not to do that again?" She let go of a shaky breath, pulling him into a hug, as Rudiger jumped down, knowing that his human was safe.

He leaned into the hug, choking back a sob as he held onto her. Both of them were holding on to the other way too tight, but neither of them cared. Right now they just needed to be sure that they were okay. That they'd be okay.

And in that moment, both of them actually felt as if they would be. They were friends again and they'd be okay.


	2. Snowstorm

It was getting cold in Corona and from the sky fell white, cold-

"Snow..." Rapunzel reached her hand out of the window, feeling the icy snow melt in her palm.

In Old Corona the snow was starting to fall too, but-

"The wind is quite powerful today, huh dad?" Varian said, brows furrowed in worry as he looked out over their field. The snow was coming way too early this year. Not a good sign.

"Yeah, there should be a snowstorm on it's way. We better warn the others and check up on them. Then get the most important stuff inside as quick as possible. The wind seems to be getting more intense for each moment that goes by." His dad continued talking about what they had to do to prepare for the storm, but Varian barely heard anything else than the word snowstorm, and he felt as if the wind had gone and sucked all the air out of his lungs.

"Your majesty, a snowstorm is on it's way. We've got to prepare." Rapunzel froze, as if she'd been bathed in snow. The word snowstorm ringing loudly in her mind, making her unable to think of anything else

Varian felt like he couldn't breathe, no, scratch that. He wasn't breathing. He had simply stopped breathing and was now somehow held in existence by the sheer force of panic. He thought about it for a moment, but couldn't really figure out if it made any sense. His usually clear and quick thinking brain was blurry and slow and if his brain was a person, it would be screaming rn. Just one long, high pitched scream.

Now, he would've usually tried to calm himself down by doing something to keep his brain occupied, but that something would usually be alchemy and... even thinking of doing that during a snowstorm, after last time, made him feel like he was about to throw up.

After trying to help prepare for the snowstorm and fumbling around and panicking over the smallest of things, Rapunzel had been sent to her room to rest by not only her parents, but a rather worried Eugene, who quickly joined her with a cup of tea and some cupcakes. After a while of talking and hugging, she finally fell asleep the only place, she always felt safe. Eugene's arms.

Varian really wished sometimes that his dad wasn't so not selfish... especially during a snowstorm when all he really wanted was for his dad to be close, but putting himself first just wasn't in his father's nature and, if he was being honest, Varian really admired him for that and he really wished that he could be more like his dad sometimes, but like he'd done last time there was a snowstorm, he usually ended up putting himself first over everyone else... He was working on it though.

Rapunzel woke up panting heavily, but quickly calmed down as she felt Eugene's secure hands giving her shoulders a reassuring squeeze, as he whispered comforting words to her and she quickly relaxed in his arms once again. She didn't even get to tell him about the nightmare she'd had before she fell back asleep, not noticing the snow swirling by the window outside.

Varian woke up with a scream, his whole body shaking as if he'd been outside in the snowstorm for hours, but he wasn't freezing. His dad had lit up in the fireplace and made the fire big and warm- his dad! Varian jumped out of bed, almost falling over his blanket as he rushed towards his father's room, stumbling in as if his life depended on it. He gave out a relieved sigh. His dad was still there. He was okay.

He turned around, ready to go back to his room when he heard his dad's voice from behind him.

"Varian? Everything alright, son?" He quickly spun around, putting on what he hoped was a casual expression or at least fitting for the situation. "Yeah, dad, I'm fine. Don't worry. I just... thought I... I thought I heard something, but... it must've been the wind. Sorry I woke you up."

"It's the snowstorm, isn't it?" His dad asked, and Varian had to wonder when he'd become so obvious. His dad lifted up in his blanket, making space for Varian to crawl in. Varian jumped right into his dad's arms, clinging onto him way too tight for someone who had just claimed to be okay, but he honestly didn't care. In his dad's arms, he barely noticed the wind howling outside their home.

Morning came and the snowstorm was over. Rapunzel thanked whatever forces might be at play that it hadn't been like last time, but she still felt like she had something to do. Something she should've done last time, but only did way too late. As soon as she could, she was on her way to old Corona. She had a friend to check up on.

When she arrived, she saw Varian and his dad outside their house in the middle of fixing whatever damage the snowstorm might've caused, and while Rapunzel would have to think about that kind of stuff too later, all she could think about right now was that Varian was right there and he was okay, and so was his dad. No amber, no evil plans. Everything was okay. When he saw her, he lit up and it looked as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders and Rapunzel would be lying if she said she didn't feel the same. She pulled him into a tight embrace, both of them rambling off way too late apologies, but it didn't matter because they were okay and the snowstorm was over.


	3. Exhausted

(takes place in Rapunzel Returns right after they blew up the ship.)

"Princess!" Varian stumbled towards to her, a look of relief on his face. "You're okay!" Rapunzel couldn't help, but feel a warm feeling in her chest. She'd really missed him.

"Whoops." She was quickly snapped out of her thoughts as she had to catch him from falling. "You doing alright there, Varian?" She asked, trying to help him hold steady.

"Oh yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He mumbled, swaying lightly from one side to the other. "... just... tired... fine... I'm fi..." Then he fell towards her, his whole body going limp, as he gave into exhaustion.

"Varian!" Rapunzel was quick to catch him once again, getting him down on the ground as gently as possible, letting his head rest lap. Eugene came running over, having heard Rapunzel yell out for the kid. "What happened?" He let himself dump to the floor besides them, a worried expression painted across his face.

"I'm not sure." Rapunzel said, a concerned look on her face. "He just suddenly fainted. He mumbled something about being tired."

"Well, I believe that." Eugene said. "Look at those circles under his eyes. You would think he hadn't slept for a year with how dark they are."

She nodded, her worry still not eased. "Maybe we should get him back to the castle?" Eugene suggested. Giving her hand a calming squeeze. "He'll be more comfortable in a bed in one of the guestrooms than here on the ground."

That was the plan, but back at the castle Rapunzel couldn't help, but feel like just throwing him into some random guest room and leaving him there would be wrong with everything that had just happened, and to be completely honest, she was a little too worried about him at this point to just be able to rest, not knowing how he was doing.

Her bed was really big enough for a whole family to sleep in it, so two people should be no problem, right? That way she could make sure he was okay, and he'd have someone there if he woke up. She tugged him into the bed, making sure he was laying comfortable, before getting in herself. Passing out almost immediately.

A few hours later she was awoken by a sudden movement besides her in the bed.

Varian had awoken suddenly, from one of his usual nightmares. He felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest, as he struggled to breathe, trying to figure out where he was, because this obviously wasn't the dungeons. Why did he feel so warm and comfortable? That wasn't supposed to be a thing. He suddenly jumped when he sensed movement beside him, turning quickly to face whatever or whoever it was.

Seeing Rapunzel was like a slap to the face. His mind was still so blurry after his nightmare, and he'd yet to remember the day's events, so when he saw her, sitting right there, something in him broke, as he tried to choke back a loud sob.

"Hey, hey, shhhh, Varian. Hey-" Rapunzel quickly had an arm around him. Holding his hand. Running her thumbs in circles on his palm. He desperately latched onto her, holding on tightly, as he buried his face in her dress. They sat there for a few hours. Varian rambling off apology, after apology, while crying violently. Rapunzel just listened patiently, running a hand comforting through his hair, whispering to him reassuringly, until he finally managed to fall back asleep.

It was funny how things worked. So suddenly, she felt like she was willing to do everything to protect this kid. Her friend. Friend... Varian was her friend again. She felt a smile spreading on her face.

She fell asleep hugging him tightly, as she listened to his soft breathing, finally being able to assure herself that he'd be okay. That they'd be okay.


	4. Cookies

Varian stared at the ceiling, giving out a whistle. "I'm sooooo boooooored." He complained. Rapunzel, who was laying besides him on the bed, pushed herself up on her elbow, looking at him, as if in deep thought, a smile appearing on her face. "Do you like baking?"

"Huh?" He looked up at her.

"Do you like baking?" She repeated, pushing herself up in a sitting position. "We could go down in the kitchen and bake something... cookies, maybe?" Varian flinched lightly, but luckily Rapunzel didn't notice. He looked at her for a second, wondering if she even remembered last time he baked. Was she asking specifically because of that?

A look of disappointment crossed her face at his lack of response. She was hoping that that would be another hobby they had in common, but apparently- "Sure... Sure!" Varian sat up quickly to signal that he was in. It would be fine right? He could bake. He'd done that lots of time with no malicious intend. Rapunzel smiled brightly at him, before quickly grabbing his hand and dragging him out of her room, towards the kitchen.

She excitedly pulled out a cooking book, bigger than any alchemy book he'd ever owned (and that was really saying something). "So, cookies? You up for that?" She didn't even leave room for a response before she continued. "What kind of cookies?" She cheerfully rambled off a list of different cookies. She seemed so excited about the whole thing, that Varian didn't have the heart to tell her about the knot he was feeling grow in his stomach.

He bit his lip, taking a deep breath, forced a big smile and told her that chocolate chip cookies were fine.

While baking, Rapunzel was being very chatty, and soon he started feeling at ease and get more comfortable. After all, he not only loved baking, he was actually rather good at it, and it turned out that so was Rapunzel. Sure, maybe the kitchen got a bit messy, and it didn't exactly say in the recipe that there was supposed to go that many chocolate chips in, but Varian would say they made a pretty good team.

He was in the middle of reading through the recipe a second time to make sure they hadn't missed anything, when Rapz came up from behind. "Boop!" She touched his nose with her doughy finger. He wringled his nose at her. Sticking out his tongue on reflex. She tried to hold back her laughter, but failed miserably. Varian gave her a mischievous smile, and before she could react, he'd smeared dough on her nose too.

They both laughed. "Can you lick it off?" Rapunzel challenged. Varian tried, but failed miserably, what he didn't fail at though, was looking goofy. Rapunzel giggled, licking the dough off her nose with ease.

"Do we have all the ingredients?" She asked, still smiling, trying to get back on track.

"Sure, unless you count the truth serum." Varian gave out a nervous laugh, immediately regretting his... it was barely a joke.

"Oh... that. Right." Varian could've kicked himself, they were having so much fun, and he absolutely had to bring that up. Rapunzel was probably regretting that she even got the idea for them to bake.

They put the cookies in the oven, set the clock and waited in silence, until Rapunzel spoke again. "Is that why you were hesitant about baking?"

He looked at her for a moment, internally cursing himself out for being obvious about it, and even more for bringing it up. Idiot. "Oh, you... you noticed... sorry."

"It's okay." Rapunzel's voice was soft, calming. Varian suddenly felt like he could start crying any moment. He shook his head lightly, trying to ignore it. Rapunzel placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "You know, after I left the tower I avoided a lot of the things I used to do in there. I was afraid that doing what I had been doing there would somehow bring me back..."

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, looking down at his hands.

She gave his shoulder another squeeze. "You can't keep being afraid though. At some point you'll have to do the things that you associate with a bad time... but it'll be okay, Varian." She took his hand, running her thumb over his palm in calming motions, as she'd done before. He looked at her, and she gave him one her brightest, most reassuring smiles. He couldn't help but smile back. "You'll be okay, Varian." She let go of his hand and grapped both his shoulders, looking into his eyes. "You're not going back. I promise." And for the first time since the snowstorm, Varian actually felt like he could trust those words. Then the alarm clock rang.

They are way too many cookies that day, and Varian burned his tongue multiple times, because he just didn't have the patience, but it was all just so nice and comfortable and... normal, in contrast to what both of them had been through. Varian couldn't even fathom how much had happened since the last time he baked, but he was suddenly really happy that it was no longer the last time, and Rapunzel assured him, that this certainly wouldn't be his last either.

After all, they made a pretty good team.


End file.
